The Cullens Love IMing
by A.A. Silver
Summary: I know there are a lot of these, but I felt that I should do one too. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

The Cullens Love IMing

Screen names to know

Bella: MentalMute

Edward: ICanHearYou

Emmett: GraniteTeddy

Rosalie: SleeplessBeauty

Alice: PixieFortuneCookie

Jasper: MajorChillPill

ICanHearYou has signed in

MentalMute has signed in

MentalMute: Hi Eddie

ICanHearYou: How many times have I told you not to call me that?

PixieFortuneCookie has signed in

PixieFortuneCookie: *Reads conversation* 187 by my count

MajorChillPill has signed in

SleeplessBeauty has signed in

GraniteTeddy has signed in

GraniteTeddy: Hey guys. Hey Eddie

ICanHearYou: Don't call me that

PixieFortuneCookie: Hi Eddie and other family members

ICanHearYou: DON'T call me that

SleeplessBeauty: Hi there Eddie

ICanHearYou: DO NOT call me that

MajorChillPill: Eddie!

ICanHearYou: THAT IS IT, I'M LEAVING!!

ICanHearYou has signed out

MentalMute: He's gone…

MajorChillPill: I believe it's time for…

PixieFortuneCookie: RANDOM DANCING!!!

PixieFortuneCookie: *Dances randomly*

MentalMute: *Dances randomly*

MajorChillPill: *Dances randomly*

SleeplessBeauty: Come on Emmett, we have things to do

GraniteTeddy: Coming my sweet Rose

SleeplessBeauty has signed out

GraniteTeddy has signed out

MentalMute: So… what now

PixieFortuneCookie: More random dancing?

MajorChillPill/MentalMute: Nah

PixieFortuneCookie: 'Kay, bye

MajorChillPill/MentalMute: Bye

MajorChillPill has signed out

PixieFortuneCookie has signed out

MentalMute has signed out


	2. Chapter 2

The Cullens Love IMing 2

Screen Names to Know

Bella: MentalMute

Jacob: SecondAlpha

Seth: SandPuppy4

Renesmee: LivingFilmProjector

Random Spanish Person: JoseDeJaneiro (Jose is pronounced ho-zay)

SandPuppy4 has signed in

SecondAlpha has signed in

MentalMute has signed in

SecondAlpha: Hey Bells

MentalMute: Hi Jake

SandPuppy4: *Cries*I feel dejected

MentalMute: Hi to you as well Seth

SandPuppy4: Th… thank you*sniffles*

SecondAlpha: So how you guys doing

SandPuppy4: I'm pretty good

MentalMute: Same here

SecondAlpha: Hey Bells…

MentalMute: Yes Jacob

SecondAlpha: Could you put Renesmee on

MentalMute: Sure, I got stuff to do anyway

MentalMute has signed out

LivingFilmProjector has signed in

SecondAlpha: Nessie!

LivingFilmProjector: Jakey!

SecondAlpha: Nessie!

LivingFilmProjector: Jakey!

SandPuppy4: Will you 2 stop it b4 I pwn you

LivingFilmProjector: God… have a cow much

SandPuppy4: Yes, very much; you 2 r making me sick with all your lovey-dovey talk

SecondAlpha: Well

LivingFilmProjector: Well

SandPuppy4: Ok I'm leaving now

LivingFilmProjector/SecondAlpha: Ok, bye

SandPuppy4 has signed out

JoseDeJaneiro has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: …

SecondAlpha: …

LivingFilmProjector/SecondAlpha: Who the heck are you?

JoseDeJaneiro: Say, do you kids have any burritos

LivingFilmProjector has signed out

SecondAlpha has signed out

JoseDeJaneiro: *Eats nachos*Was it something I said?

JoseDeJaneiro has signed out


	3. Chapter 3

The Cullens Love IMing 3

Screen Names to Know

Esme: MamaGrizzly

Carlisle: CDoc

Bella: MentalMute

Edward: ICanHearYou

Renesmee: LivingFilmProjector

MamaGrizzly has signed in

CDoc has signed in

LivingFilmProjector has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: Hi Grampa Carlisle. Hi Gramma Esme

MamaGrizzly: Hello dear

CDoc: Hello Renesmee

LivingFilmProjector: How are you doing?

CDoc: Actually, Esme is coming to help me at the hospital

LivingFilmProjector: Really, well have fun

CDoc has signed out

MamaGrizzly has signed out

LivingFilmProjector: I'm alone

MentalMute has signed in

ICanHearYou has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: Mommy, Daddy

MentalMute: Hello little prius

LivingFilmProjector: DON'T CALL ME THAT

MentalMute: Okay then. Snappy much

ICanHearYou: RENESMEE, don't ever think such thoughts. And such thoughts directed at your own mother

MentalMute: I'm scared

CDoc has signed in

MamaGrizzly has signed in

CDoc: We have finished our business at the hospital

LivingFilmProjector: Yay, Gramma and Grampa are back. And momma, you should be scared. Muahahahaha!

MentalMute: Now I'm really scared

ICanHearYou: Don't worry Bella; I'm coming to protect you; and Renesmee don't even think about getting Emmett's chainsaw

ICanHearYou has signed out

MentalMute: Chainsaw!?

LivingFilmProjector: I'm leaving

CDoc: Esme and I have some more business to attend to

MamaGrizzly: Goodbye Bella

MamaGrizzly has signed out

LivingFilmProjector has signed out

CDoc has signed out

MentalMute: It's lonely in here when there's no one to talk to

MentalMute has signed out


	4. Chapter 4

The Cullens Love IMing 4

Screen Names to Know

Emmett: GraniteTeddy

Rosalie: SleeplessBeauty

Jacob: SecondAlpha

Seth: SandPuppy4

Renesmee: LivingFilmProjector

GraniteTeddy has signed in

SleeplessBeauty has signed in

LivingFilmProjector has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: Hi Auntie Rose and Uncle Emmett

SleeplessBeauty: Hi Nessie

GraniteTeddy: Hello little prius

LivingFilmProjector: DON'T CALL ME THAT

GraniteTeddy: Fine, you seem kind of irritable today

LivingFilmProjector: I'm always irritable when people call me 'prius'

GraniteTeddy: Why? Prius is a highly respectable name

LivingFilmProjector: It is not you idiot

SleeplessBeauty: Ok you 2, stop it. Nessie, stop insulting my husband and Emmett, stop calling Nessie 'prius'

GraniteTeddy/LivingFilmProjector: Fine

SandPuppy4 has signed in

SecondAlpha has signed in

SleeplessBeauty: Ugh, the dogs are here. Let's go Emmett

GraniteTeddy: Coming

SleeplessBeauty has signed out

GraniteTeddy has signed out

LivingFilmProjector: Jakey!

SecondAlpha: Hi Nessie!

SandPuppy4: Hello little prius

LivingFilmProjector: DON'T CALL ME THAT

SecondAlpha: Calm down Nessie, he didn't mean it; did you Seth

SandPuppy4: You're right Jake, I didn't mean it; sorry Nessie

LivingFilmProjector: Thank you for apologizing, Seth

SandPuppy4: *Grumbles* you're welcome

SecondAlpha: Seth…

SandPuppy4: Sorry again. I'll see you guys later okay

SecondAlpha/LivingFilmProjector: Okay

SandPuppy4 has signed out

LivingFilmProjector: So what time are you coming over today Jakey

SecondAlpha: I'm not sure; I could come over now if you want

LivingFilmProjector: That'd be great, see u soon Jakey

LivingFilmProjector has signed out

SecondAlpha has signed out


	5. Chapter 5

The Cullens Love IMing 5

Screen Names to Know

Seth: SandPuppy4

Jacob: SecondAlpha

Leah: EmoGirlieWolf

Sam: AlphaCop

Quil: SeeSpotRun

Embry: ISeeSpotRun

Random Spaniard: Hoolieo87

SecondAlpha has signed in

EmoGirlieWolf has signed in

SecondAlpha: Hello Leah

EmoGirlieWolf: Hello Jacob

SandPuppy4 has signed in

SandPuppy4: Hey Jake! Leah

EmoGirlieWolf: *Scowls* you could have at least said hello

SecondAlpha: Hey you guys, be nice

SandPuppy4/EmoGirlieWolf: *Grumbles* fine, we'll be nice

SeeSpotRun has signed in

ISeeSpotRun has signed in

SeeSpotRun/ISeeSpotRun: Hey Jake!

EmoGirlieWolf: And I am ignored, yet again

SeeSpotRun: Sorry Leah, we didn't see you there

EmoGirlieWolf: Ooooof course ya didn't. Ya nits.

ISeeSpotRun: Hey, you can't call Quil a nit

SeeSpotRun: I think she was addressing you as well Em

ISeeSpotRun: Nah, that can't be true

EmoGirlieWolf: Actually he's spot on

ISeeSpotRun: Is that a lame pun on our screen names

EmoGirlieWolf: No. I got to go

EmoGirlieWolf has signed out

SandPuppy4: I don't know if you noticed, but I'm here too

SeeSpotRun/ISeeSpotRun: Hi Seth!

SandPuppy4: Hi Quil, hi Embry

SeeSpotRun: Uh-oh Sam's coming home

SecondAlpha: Why is that a problem?

ISeeSpotRun: We're both using computers that belong to Sam

SeeSpotRun: Bye Seth, bye Jake

SeeSpotRun has signed out

ISeeSpotRun has signed out

AlphaCop has signed in

AlphaCop: Wacky kids those 2. I don't even want to know how they got into my house

SecondAlpha: Nice sn Sam. But unlike u I do wanna know how they got into your house

AlphaCop: Can we stay off the subject

SecondAlpha: Ok

SandPuppy4: How come I'm not engaged in this conversation?

SecondAlpha/AlphaCop: We don't know

SandPuppy4: Uh-oh, Leah's in a bad mood and she looks like she wants to pound someone. I gotta go

SecondAlpha/AlphaCop: Bye Seth

SandPuppy4 has signed out

AlphaCop: Well, my break's over, I gotta get back to the police station

SecondAlpha: Bye

AlphaCop has signed out

SecondAlpha: I have no where to go, but I'm leaving anyway

SecondAlpha has signed out


	6. Chapter 6

The Cullens Love IMing 6

Screen Names to know

Bella: MentalMute

Renesmee: LivingFilmProjector

Rosalie: SleeplessBeauty

Some Random Japanese Person (Who is really Emmett): EnkiNoEnma

LivingFilmProjector has signed in

MentalMute has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: Hi mommy

MentalMute: Hi my lovely little prius

LivingFilmProjector: MOMMA!?

MentalMute: Sorry, I couldn't resist

LivingFilmProjector: It's okay

MentalMute: Good

LivingFilmProjector: Will you tell me a story momma

MentalMute: Over the internet?

LivingFilmProjector: Sure, why not?

MentalMute: What story would you like me to tell you?

LivingFilmProjector: How about the story of how Auntie Rosie became a vampire

MentalMute: Okay. Once there was a really pretty—though not as pretty as me—girl named Rosalie Hale. All the boys liked her and always wanted to buy her things. For her time period—the great depression—her family had a lot of money. One day, her daddy decided to partner up with the bank's big boss guy and Rosalie met the boss' handsome—though not as handsome as your daddy—son. Rosalie and he hooked up and they were to be married in 2 weeks.

LivingFilmProjector: Then what happened?

MentalMute: One night Rosalie's fiancée got all drunk and partied up. Him and his friends came up to Rosie and viciously gang beat her. She then got found by Carlisle who bit her and turned her into a vampire.

LivingFilmProjector: What happened after that?

MentalMute: Well, she got revenge by killing the guy's friends one by one. When she finally came to him, she stole a wedding dress and killed him while wearing it. The irony is deadly!

LivingFilmProjector: Yay for Auntie Rosie!

SleeplessBeauty has signed in

SleeplessBeauty: That's not how it happened

LivingFilmProjector: Then, how did it happen?

SleeplessBeauty: Sorry Nessie, but it is past your bedtime and the story would take too long to tell

LivingFilmProjector: Okay

MentalMute: Let's get you to bed

MentalMute has signed out

LivingFilmProjector has signed out

EnkiNoEnma has signed in

SleeplessBeauty: Who the heck are you?!

EnkiNoEnma: Hello beautiful

SleeplessBeauty: How do you know I'm beautiful!? ARE YOU STALKING ME FREAK!?

EnkiNoEnma: No Rose, it's me, Emmett!

SleeplessBeauty: Ok, but you come into our bedroom right now we are going to talk about this

EnkiNoEnma: *Gulps* alright. I'm afraid!

SleeplessBeauty: *Angrily* you should be afraid!

SleeplessBeauty has signed out

EnkiNoEnma has signed out


	7. Chapter 7

The Cullens Love IMing 7

Screen Names to Know

Emmett: GraniteTeddy

Rosalie: SleeplessBeauty

Mike Newton: ImAwesome22

Hannah Montana (I don't know this is for no reason): HannahMontana32

GraniteTeddy has signed in

ImAwesome22 has signed in

ImAwesome22: Aren't you Emmett Cullen

GraniteTeddy: What's it to you?

ImAwesome22: I'm Mike Newton

GraniteTeddy: So?

ImAwesome22: I'm Awesome

GraniteTeddy: Er, right

ImAwesome22: Does Bella ever talk about me

GraniteTeddy: No

ImAwesome22: Are you sure

GraniteTeddy: Yes

ImAwesome22: Is your vocabulary strictly monosyllabic

GraniteTeddy: What?

SleeplessBeauty has signed in

SleeplessBeauty: The little worm is asking if all the words you know have only one syllable

GraniteTeddy: Then the **an-swer** is no

SleeplessBeauty: Why are you even talking to this little insect Emmett?

ImAwesome22: I can read everything you're writing

SleeplessBeauty: You were supposed to stupid

ImAwesome22: Humph, what up with your weird Sn's

SleeplessBeauty: That's need-to-know insect

ImAwesome22: I'm leaving before you insult me more

-5 minutes later-

SleeplessBeauty: Why haven't you left yet?

ImAwesome22: Fine, I'm really leaving now

ImAwesome22 has signed out

SleeplessBeauty: Now we're finally alone Em

GraniteTeddy: Well not really, we're on the internet where anyone could enter the chat-room

SleeplessBeauty: True

HannahMontana32 has signed in

GraniteTeddy: OMC you're Hannah Montana

HannahMontana32: Yes, I think I am

GraniteTeddy: OMC you're so hot

SleeplessBeauty: Gee Emmett, nice thing to say with your wife in the chat-room

HannahMontana32: Yeah that is a bit of a flub-job buddy boy

GraniteTeddy: Nyah, I'm being verbally attacked by 2 women at once. Save me god

HannahMontana32: Is he okay?

SleeplessBeauty: Yeah, he does this every day and it's always his own fault that he's 'verbally attacked'

HannahMontana32: Well I got to get to my concert, nice meeting you

SleeplessBeauty: Emmett will probably watch it, bye

HannahMontana32 has signed out

SleeplessBeauty: Come on Em, you know you wanna watch

GraniteTeddy: Coming, sweet Rosalie

GraniteTeddy has signed out

SleeplessBeauty has signed out


	8. Chapter 8

The Cullens Love IMing 8

Screen Names to Know

Bella: MentalMute

Edward: ICanHearYou

Jasper: EmoMouseHouse (He got a new SN)

Alice: PixieFortuneCookie

Esme: MamaGrizzly

MentalMute has signed in

ICanHearYou has signed in

ICanHearYou: Hello Bella

MentalMute: Hi Edwardy-turd

ICanHearYou: What did you just call me?!

MentalMute: Edwardy-turd

ICanHearYou: Why?!

MentalMute: I ate this re-e-e-e-eally good white stuff that Emmett gave me. It's delicious!!!

ICanHearYou: Tell me Bella, do you have feelings of hyperness

MentalMute: *Southern Belle Accent* Why yes I do

ICanHearYou: And what do you think it was

MentalMute: Why I think it was bird poop

ICanHearYou: You have a strange mind. But do you know what it really was

MentalMute: Tell me, tell me, tell me; I wanna get more!!!

ICanHearYou: It was sugar

MentalMute: I thought vampires weren't supposed to have sugar

ICanHearYou: And can you tell why

MentalMute: Is it because I'm getting too cuh-razy!!!???

ICanHearYou: Yes

EmoMouseHouse has signed in

PixieFortuneCookie has signed in

PixieFortuneCookie: Hey Bella

MentalMute: Alice, Alice, Alice

PixieFortuneCookie: What, what, what

MentalMute: I'M HYPER!!!

PixieFortuneCookie: Edward, did Emmett give her sugar _again_?

ICanHearYou: Yes he did

MentalMute: Hey Alice know what time it is

PixieFortuneCookie: *Sighs* what time is it?

MentalMute: TIME TO ANNOY JASPER WITH BAD PUNS

PixieFortuneCookie: Now that, I'm game for

ICanHearYou: Run while you can bro

EmoMouseHouse: No, I can tough this out

PixieFortuneCookie: Jazz hands

MentalMute: Jazz square

PixieFortuneCookie: It's time for the big one

EmoMouseHouse: Uh-oh

PixieFortuneCookie/MentalMute: All…

EmoMouseHouse: Please don't do it

PixieFortuneCookie/MentalMute: That…

EmoMouseHouse: Begging now

PixieFortuneCookie/MentalMute: JAZZ!!!

EmoMouseHouse: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm going to my super special emo corner

EmoMouseHouse has signed out

PixieFortuneCookie: Let's follow him to his corner Bella

MentalMute: Wait, we still have to annoy Edward into a corner

PixieFortuneCookie: Alright

MentalMute: Edwardy-turd

PixieFortuneCookie: Eddie

ICanHearYou: Now you two stop that

MentalMute: Eduardo

PixieFortuneCookie: Edwin

MentalMute: Edweirdo

PixieFortuneCookie: Edwimpy

ICanHearYou: That's it! I'M JOINING JASPER IN HIS CORNER!!!

ICanHearYou has signed out

PixieFortuneCookie/MentalMute: Mission accomplished

PixieFortuneCookie has signed out

MentalMute has signed out


	9. Chapter 9

The Cullens Love IMing 9

Screen Names to Know

Bella: MentalMute

Edward: ICanHearYou

Alice: PixieFortuneCookie

Jasper: EmoMouseHouse

Emmett: GraniteTeddy

Random Chinese Person: WingYangFu

MentalMute has signed in

ICanHearYou has signed in

-Edward and Bella are both outside with laptops on their laps on a beautiful sunny day-

MentalMute: Hi Edwardy-turd

ICanHearYou: I thought I told you not to call me that

MentalMute: That doesn't mean I was listening. Silly Edwardy-turd!

ICanHearYou: Oy vey

MentalMute: EDWARD, STOP SPARKLING

ICanHearYou: Bella, I can't and besides, you're sparkling too

MentalMute: NO I'M NOT; NOW YOU STOP THAT

ICanHearYou: Bella, I can't turn it off; you know as well as I do that it's natural for vampires

MentalMute: THAT MEANS I CAN'T BE SPARKLING 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T CHANGE ME

ICanHearYou: Bella, I did change you and we are a happily married vampire couple

MentalMute: WHAT!? I MISSED MY OWN WEDDING!?

ICanHearYou: No Bella, you did not miss your own wedding; you danced with me and your father and got Jacob mad at you

MentalMute: …

MentalMute: So can you stop sparkling or not?

ICanHearYou: Oy vey

PixieFortuneCookie has signed in

EmoMouseHouse

EmoMouseHouse: Hello. Bella is hyper and Edward is exasperated

ICanHearYou: You've got it right on both counts

PixieFortuneCookie: Hey Eddie, say this to Bella

ICanHearYou: *Reads thoughts* OH GOD; Alice that is disgusting, I'm not going to say that

MentalMute: *Hits Edwardy-turd with stuffed goose* Tell me ya silly GOOSE! OMG I am now going to be obsessed with the word GOOSE.

ICanHearYou: Must you, Bella?

MentalMute: I like the word gosling too

ICanHearYou: Goose it is

PixieFortuneCookie: Well, me and Jasper have to go. We've got STUFF to do

EmoMouseHouse has signed out

PixieFortuneCookie has signed out

MentalMute: What'd she tell you to say Edwardy-turd?

ICanHearYou: I said I'm not going to say it and I shan't say it

MentalMute: Is 'shan't' a word?

ICanHearYou: YES. Honestly Bella, sometimes you can be such a nit

MentalMute: *Gasps* you called me a nit! What's a nit?

ICanHearYou: It's another word for fool

MentalMute: Okay! *Whistles Fairly Odd Parents' theme song*

ICanHearYou: Oy vey

GraniteTeddy has signed in

ICanHearYou: Let's leave these computers Bella and go play with our daughter

MentalMute: Okay. Oh yeah and GOOSE!!!

MentalMute has signed out

ICanHearYou has signed out

GraniteTeddy: *Sniffles* I didn't even get a chance to say hi

WingYangFu has signed in

WingYangFu: Hey little boy; do you have any spicy tuna rolls

GraniteTeddy: o_O

GraniteTeddy: Now I'm leaving

GraniteTeddy has signed out

WingYangFu has signed out

**A/N: When I put in random people of different nationalities I am not trying to offend said random person's country in any way. Oh yeah and before I forget; Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters in it, but if I did, Jasper would be ash and Alice would be mine!**


	10. Chapter 10

The Cullens Love IMing 10

Screen Names to Know

Bella: MentalMute

Renesmee: LivingFilmProjector

Edward: ICanHearYou

Emmett: GraniteTeddy

Mike Newton: I'mAwesome22

I'mAwesome22 has signed in

MentalMute has signed in

I'mAwesome22: Hey Bella

MentalMute: ...

I'mAwesome22: What's up with your weird SN

MentalMute: Go away Mike

I'mAwesome22: Okay

I'mAwesome22 has signed out

ICanHearYou has signed in

MentalMute: Hello oh grand exalted Poobah

ICanHearYou: Poobah?!

MentalMute: Yes Poobah

ICanHearYou: Can I be the Dalai Lama or the Pope instead

MentalMute: No, Edwardy-turd, you have to be the Poobah

ICanHearYou: Why?

MentalMute: Because it's so close to Poombah from 'The Lion King' and Nessie loves that movie

LivingFilmProjector has signed in

LivingFilmProjector: *Reads conversation* I don't like 'The Lion King' momma, you do

MentalMute: Would it kill us to call your father Poobah?

LivingFilmProjector: Well, you're the boss

ICanHearYou: How come I'm never the Boss?

LivingFilmProjector: Just because dad.

LivingFilmProjector: I'm bored, bye

LivingFilmProjector has signed out

Granite Teddy has signed in

MentalMute: Come Edwardy-turd, we have _things_ to do

ICanHearYou: *Perks up* Okay

ICanHearYou has signed out

MentalMute has signed out

GraniteTeddy: Once again, I am completely alone

GraniteTeddy: *Sniffles* I'm unloved

GraniteTeddy has signed out

**A/N: Sorry this is a short chapter, I didn't have many ideas for it ******** GIVE ME IDEAS PEOPLE!!!**

_**Disclaimer: I'm here to meet with the character representative to see if I can own the Twilight world**_

_**Alice: Hello, I'm the Rep**_

_**Disclaimer: *Stares wide-eyed* what are the chances that the hottest vampire in Twilight would be the Rep**_

_**Alice: Thank you, but I belong to Jasper. And all of us Cullens agree that you cannot own Twilight**_

_**Disclaimer: Curses!**_

_**Alice: Tough break, kid. Bye!**_

_**Disclaimer: Damn it, I still don't own the Twilight world. And I don't own Alice either *Cries in a small emo corner* **_


End file.
